Too Common

One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, according to National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. In a study by the American Psychological Association, researchers found that girls were more likely than boys to report being victims of sexual dating violence, and both genders found themselves victim to physical violence from their partners. The findings were “consistent across race, ethnicity and income levels.” Abuse finds itself in all walks of life, no matter the person.

The central force of abuse is control. “He became really jealous. He would get mad if I favorited someone’s tweet, liked a pic on Insta, or if he saw me talking to someone else in the hallway,” abuse survivor Jane Rowell said, whose name has been changed. Control becomes manipulation, and manipulation becomes suppression, starting a cycle of mental and emotional abuse.

“In the off chance that I did confront him, he would twist it to where it was my fault. Mental and emotional abuse definitely has deeper scars than people think. I’m conditioned to think that everything’s kind of just my fault because I spent so much time with someone who kept telling me that it was,” Jane said.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, abuse can cause “symptoms of depression and anxiety, engagement in unhealthy behaviors, such as tobacco and drug use, and alcohol, involvement in antisocial behaviors, and thoughts about suicide.”

In turn, dating violence is no longer a matter of control, but a vicious cycle of abuse on others and oneself. “For the longest time I was really down and depressed and I didn’t even know that I was,” Mark said.