Mythbusters

Like Mark and Jane, those in an abusive relationship can find themselves lost. Lost in hurt. Lost in shame. Lost in the stigma of abusive relationships. These stigmas plague survivors, often causing them to not come forward to tell their story.

“A lot of kids feel like they can’t talk about it. They almost feel violated again while talking about it. And we as adults try to be as empathetic as possible because I know it can be hard,” school resource officer Dustin Coppes said.

For some, an abusive relationship signals weakness. Some even believe that the victim deserved the abuse, thinking that their actions provoked just anger from the abuser.
However, according to Patrick Nakamura, a Prevention Educator at Family Shelter Service, “It’s not their fault at all.”

These stigmas are merely just that. “Women and men in abusive relationships are not weak. They are some of the strongest people I know,” Nakamura said.

Due to the private nature of romantic relationships, the abuse often stays behind closed doors. Abusers often manipulate their partners to stay in these relationships, and to the common eye, it appears as if they like the abuse or that they’re “asking for it.” According to Nyla Whitehead, also a Prevention Educator at Family Shelter Service, this is far from the truth. “People do not choose to be abused. People do not want to be abused. But people are stuck in that abuse because it’s scary. It’s scary to get in and it’s scary to get out,” Whitehead said.