Lean on Me

Dating violence is a reality for 1.5 million teens, according to NCDAV. For those trapped in an abusive relationship, it can feel dark, cold, and lonely with nowhere to reach for help. But it does not have to stay this way. Through knowledge and conversation that uplifts teens to share their story with those around them.

“If we can lift up the victim and not the abuser, we can empower the victim. In an abusive relationship, the abuser speaks for the victim. So now, we give this person the opportunity to speak what they want,” Whitehead said.

Becoming an active bystander, someone who recognizes a problem and takes steps to speak up or step in to keep a situation from escalating can be the difference between further abuse.

Understanding the signs of abuse can help. Warning signs of dating abuse include extreme jealousy or insecurity, explosive temper, isolation from family and friends, physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way, or repeatedly pressuring someone to have sex.

“If you don’t break that cycle, it’s only going to get worse, so it’s important to get out of it. The most important thing I can tell teenagers is to be honest with yourself, and to be strong enough to say no,” Coppes said.

Students can reach out to a friend, a relative, a school counselor, a teacher, a coach, or the school resource officer. They can also call 911 or the 24-hour hotline at Family Shelter Service, 630-469-5650. Victims of abuse should reach out to any of the help lines or organizations that offer advice and perspective. Most importantly, it’s vital to talk.

For Mark, that talk was with his parents and that made a world of a difference. “I actually ended up having a conversation with my parents. My parents are really supportive, and I don’t know why I didn’t tell them sooner,” Mark said.