As I was attempting to write a story regarding the supposed stigma, bully-free zone that is high school, I realized that schools have not seemed to solve the issues LGBTQ kids face on a daily basis. Social regulations and hierarchies are often implemented by specific gender and sexuality roles that are almost seen as requirements within the current high school standard. Are these regulations diminishing the idea of LGBTQ kids becoming regularly accepted?

Coming out as the gender or sexual orientation one identifies with when it is other than cisgender, meaning they identify with the sexuality and gender given to them at birth, is a very, very important step for those that don’t identify as cisgender. However, it is also one of the scariest.

Standing in front of the class, Sam* shook as if they had just downed an entire pot of coffee. They had repeated the words they intended to say over and over in their head until it seemed they knew those better than their own name. New hair, new clothing, a new binder compressing their body to conform to where they feel most comfortable, they were coming out to their classmates for the first time. Standing in front of 23 people, Sam let out their biggest secret: they are trans non-binary.

Non-binary is a widely used term which means there is no specific gender identity in which that person identifies with, allowing the person to express whatever gender they feel at the moment. People who identify as trans non-binary, genderqueer, or genderfluid, tend to use the pronouns they, them, and their. These pronouns avoid the idea of a specific gender and let the people who identify with those terms feel much more comfortable in conversations. In Sam’s case, they decided to use the genderless “they,” “them,” and “their” pronouns.

A year earlier, Sam was standing in the same exact school with hair down to their shoulders wearing the clothes they saw all the other girls wearing. Aside from the skirts and dresses, the title of “she” that they were wearing gave them an uneasy feeling. A feeling of insecurity and an emotional pain that was much worse than physical pain.

Out of the thousands of students and faculty at Metea, Sam is definitely not alone with their emotional and physical struggles. As many gender-neutral bathrooms and unisex clothing aisles in the mall as there are, living as a sex not given to you at birth is an extremely difficult struggle that is unable to be explained by words in a pamphlet or written in the script of a Glee episode.

These kids walk in the hallway feeling isolated from all of the cisgender, straight kids that seem to be completely oblivious to the intense issues most LGBTQ teens face; though millions of kids have questioned their sexuality many times and are often insecure when it comes to their sexual preference.

So what draws the line between right and wrong? Why are some sexualities accepted and some are looked upon as a joke? Why is it okay for a straight couple to hold hands in the hallways but not a gay couple? Social standards and are now defined by the minds and regulations of kids surrounding them, ultimately moving away from the power of an LGBTQ after-school club.

Last week, signs for “All Gender Restrooms” were put up, then quickly taken down, in four of Metea’s hallways. What truly is the issue with a genderfluid bathroom? Is it too much money to make kids like Sam feel comfortable going to the bathroom at school? Would it be too much money to help avoid kids being too self conscious to use their “stand-to-pee” device in the boys bathroom that they refuse to go to the restroom all day? What sacrifices need to be made to ensure equality of the sexes within school boundaries?

There might not be much a school board can do to eliminate social standards or personal preference but using a bathroom made specifically with no gender boundaries would be a large milestone each and every LGBTQ kid deserves to reach, and that is one thing the school board can do. We can’t let that right be taken away from them because of a lack of funding, certain views, or angry emails from parents who just don’t understand.

From coming out to a class of almost all strangers to walking past a male and female bathroom and wishing there was a place where they feel most comfortable, the LGBTQ community has many different social dilemmas that cannot be completely eliminated by a set of rules within the school’s handbook.

Sam, the LGBTQ community, myself, and many others all wish for a day where going to the bathroom is not a dreadful experience and where they can hold hands with their significant other and not feel as though they are violating a social standard. The reality of gender and sexuality have changed immensely in the past 10 years, including the legalization of gay marriage and improved sexual education regarding trans, gays, and lesbians. This generation is moving quickly, allowing the youth of our generation to live freely without the compressed gender/sexuality expectations will provide them with the confidence and education to live a better life.