There’s a strange ritual that happens every application season. Hopeful students from all over the nation sit down to write about their lives, and somehow, the personal statement becomes less about who they are and more about what they’ve survived. They are all running a track race in admissions and scholarships to appease the judges at trauma olympics.
A personal essay is supposed to be a space for reflection, not a competition of suffering. Yet, too often, people feel pressured to dig into their deepest wounds just to stand out. “Tell us your story,” the prompt says. But what it really seems to ask is, “What have you endured?” In an era where educational resources are abundant via the internet, colleges now seem to care little about solely how much you have achieved but more about how much you have thrived with how little.
It’s not that hardship isn’t worth sharing. Struggle shapes character, and pain teaches resilience. But when every story must prove the writer’s worth through suffering, something vital gets lost. We start to believe that ordinary lives—those filled with quiet determination, small joys, and simple growth—aren’t enough.
We turn our deepest hurt into a performance strategy. And for many, it’s not just uncomfortable, it’s retraumatizing. To relive grief, violence, or instability to be considered for an educational institution is a heavy and unfair price. It leaves your heart to the scrutinizing eyes of college admissions workers who then decide if your suffering is good enough.
Sometimes bad things just happen. Sometimes there’s no tidy arc of redemption, no neat lesson learned. There’s no motivation behind illness or loss; it just happens, and with time, we all learn to deal with these tragedies in our own way. There’s no denying that when we learn to cope, we grow, but growth that stems from hurt should not be what makes us more worthy to learn.
The best personal essays aren’t trauma showcases; they’re windows into a person’s values, insights, and aspirations. Trauma essays should continue to be written because they work. But don’t let colleges make you feel unworthy if your essay isn’t about trauma; no one’s level of hardships should be compared. That isn’t fair.