[quote]By Sushmitha Suresh (Online Writer) & Stephanie Sorich (Profiles Editor)
Graphic by Sushmitha Suresh
[/quote]
7:20- Sushi: Apparently, no one has weaknesses. Except for Trump, but we knew that.
7:22- Steph: Not even five minutes in and Fiorina has brought up the Trump burn… Kudos to her, though.
7:23- Sushi: Ooh! The Clinton bashing has begun! My favorite part.
7:24- Steph: Trump gets the first question of the night… Shocker. Someone build a wall and keep him out of this debate please and thank you. Or make him build it.
7:27- Sushi: Dr. Carson talking about when he puts all of the facts down on his fiscal policy we’ll understand…. Why not put down the facts now?
7:28- Steph: Everyone is a wonderful and nice and mature politician until it comes time to listen to a question.
7:31- Steph: Trump helps us by pointing out the organization of the line. #KasichOnTheEnd
7:33- Steph: It’s times like these that I miss Anderson Cooper.
7:39- Sushi: And Rubio comes in with the second Clinton insult of the night!
7:40- Steph: I’d rather be watching Criminal Minds right now, honestly. I think I’d learn far more about problem solving from them.
7:44- Sushi: I forgot that Rand Paul was on stage.
7:45- Steph: Ted Cruz is currently my FAVORITE for bringing up the fact that we need to talk about issues. But then I remember he read “Green Eggs and Ham” to his children during a 21 hour filibuster. Passion is passion, I guess.
7:49- Sushi: Christie’s concentrating face is very scary.
7:50- Sushi: The Clinton mention count is up to three, folks!
7:52- Sushi: Huckabee… did you really have to make the fat man joke? Did you not see my Dear Fat People Article? You should spend more time on Metea Media.
8:00- Steph: Dearest Trump, saying “I’m not blaming [insert candidate here]” when you call someone out or insult someone is the equivalent of saying “no offense.” It doesn’t help.
8:05- Sushi: Clinton count = five.
8:06- Sushi: “I’ll give them a warm kiss.” – Jeb Bush; we’re getting a little intimate in here.
8:06- Steph: So I’m in AP Government and we’re supposed to fill out a sheet with four different issues from the POV of four different candidates but this debate is so spotty I’m unable to finish it. Politicians, help ya girl get some extra credit please!
8:10- Sushi: Rubio coming in clutch with the self-promo. I feel that. Subscribe to my youtube channel, TheSushiMohnster!
8:14- Sushi: Clinton count = seven and we’re at two tragic back stories.
8:17- Sushi: I would like to add that every time Carson speaks, Stephanie and I look at each other with the most confused looks on our faces.
8:26- Sushi: Clinton count = eight. This is getting tiresome.
8:29- Steph: Rand Paul’s hair makes me sad and uncomfortable.
8:29- Sushi: But, at least he’s talking about what he’s going to do about the Fed. Him and his sad, uncomfortable hair.
8:32- Steph: Huckabee’s use of metaphor tonight would get him a 3 on an AP essay.
8:32- Sushi: Huckabee is as red as Trump right now.
8:33- Steph: Huckabee just became JIM WEBB PART TWO #DontCutMeOff #IWantMyTime, and we all saw how that went for Webb… #RIPWebb #AlwaysMissYou #ButNotReally
8:33- Sushi: Huckabee just asked the country to cure all the diseases. All of them. Just go, now. That’ll solve everything.
8:34- Steph: Half expecting and half really really hoping Lincoln Chafee shows up and says “Can I run here pls?”
8:39- Sushi: Kasich… people can’t overdose on marijuana.
8:43- Steph: Never been so happy for a commercial… My fingers are so tired.
8:49- Sushi: Clinton count = nine!
8:52- Sushi: Finally, we’re talking about college tuition! Something I am currently stressing out about and will stress out about for the next 15 years, probably.
8:55- Steph: Sushi and I will now take a several minute hiatus while they talk about sports. #Why
8:55- Sushi: Dear Chris Christie, thank you for stopping the sports talk. Love from, Sushi and Stephanie.
8:59- Steph: Rand Paul ignores a question while the camera cuts quick to Chris Christie and Ted Cruz having a good giggle on the side.
As much we’d love to say we won’t stop giving our opinions… We’re so glad this means we can say goodbye to Ben Carson and Donald Trump for the night.
Denzel Brown • Oct 30, 2015 at 2:06 pm
Why’d you take the time to write this?
Jafar Zaidi • Oct 30, 2015 at 1:46 pm
I hope that this was satire because,if it wasn’t,then this was just bashing on the Republican Debate.Plus,satire isn’t news or informative,so this was just a useless article.
person • Oct 30, 2015 at 12:51 pm
I can taste the salt from all these peoples tears through the screen, calm down, it was a joke
a person • Oct 30, 2015 at 12:46 pm
people seriously need to calm down, this was written as a satirical thing from their opinons… chill
Zal • Oct 30, 2015 at 9:56 am
These two are like Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. And that’s to say that this was amazing
An actual Colbert and Stewart fan • Oct 30, 2015 at 3:21 pm
how dare you…even…CONSIDER…this being anywhere NEAR…oh my goodness.
Look, I don’t really care about them bashing republicans. Okay, haha, all republicans are stupid and we still pay attention to an outdated religious text and we all get turned on at the sight of a gun and we think building a wall is how we deal with the immigrant problem. okay. whatever. but you know what? There wouldn’t be this much hate if the article was actually well written. Look, I love Sushi and Stephanie, and I honestly think both are genuinely good writers, but satire is just not their thing.
This is, at its core, a poorly written article that doesn’t do anything for the literary merit of the newspaper. It’s just not funny. And bashing Republicans can be pretty darn funny, but it’s all in the delivery. We’re treated to the same bland jokes on Trump’s hair and the like. And sure, it’s an opinion piece, and everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. But if you’re writing for a high school newspaper, you need to be able to convey that opinion with some sort of skill.
If you think this is an ad hominem against Sushi and Stephanie you clearly dont have the intellectual capacity to understand what I’m trying to say, and in that case please tell me I’m ignorant and get on with your life. What I’m trying to do is point out that the reason why this article has been so poorly received is because of its poorly written nature, and that’s due to the fact that the writers of the piece are simply not fit for the satirical qualifications an article of this kind calls for.
A Noble Friend • Oct 30, 2015 at 8:36 am
People this is an editorial where people express their opinion. If you can’t understand the concept of that then it is a problem. In society, people need to understand that expressing opinions and giving news is a different thing. For example Fox News is centered to Republicans while CNBC is centered towards Democrats. Basically, people on this comment page are saying that these new channels are giving news that are biased. Do anyone of you read the newspaper. There’s a section called the editorial. If you even know what a editorial is? These questions need to be posed because some people are just have a fixed mindset. Yes, a lot of people have fixed mindsets if you believe it or not. I am not trying to be biased whatsoever but there comes a time when society needs to learn to not be so hostile. Finally, an editorial and actual news have a big difference, if you can’t understand this then you need to fix yourself. It will be good for the benefit of society.
Janani • Oct 29, 2015 at 2:22 pm
I think the point of a review is to talk about your opinon.. they’ve done that here
Nikki Roberts • Oct 29, 2015 at 2:16 pm
This is not a “news” article, so please stop complaining about unbiased news. This is a satirical opinions article, which means it is intended to convey the writer’s opinions. If you’re looking for a report on last night’s debate, an opinion’s article is not the place to look. Sushi and Stephanie did a terrific job expressing their opinions in a comical manner while not blatantly bashing all of the candidates. Not agreeing with their views is understandable; don’t fall into hypocrisy and bash them for it.
Robbie Dozier • Oct 30, 2015 at 10:55 am
The main thing I have a problem with is that the Democratic Debate was viewed in a positive light, what with the #MVVotes16 and stuff. Next time there’s a Democratic Debate I’ll get with a friend and scrutinize it and see if that makes it on Metea Media.
neesh & hans • Oct 29, 2015 at 1:51 pm
lov u sush
Oke Metitiri • Oct 29, 2015 at 12:32 pm
These comments are ridiculous. This article is clearly satire. The comments are making fun of the Republican party because it was a REPUBLICAN debate. Most of the debate was pretty funny in its own way, and to say that their work should be deleted when they have the right to have their own segment is extremely rude. If this article made your “eyes bleed” do your self a favor and get off Metea Media. It’s supposed to be comical take a joke. Also if you paid attention to the debate at all, all the Republican candidates have been doing is criticizing the Democrats with biased views. The very thing you all are criticizing Sushi and Stephanie for doing as a joke is what the entire republican party has been doing this entire campaign season.
Michael Brancato • Oct 29, 2015 at 1:32 pm
this is an obvious continuation of the liberal agenda. Views from both parties should be expressed.
Andre Wentzel • Oct 29, 2015 at 1:47 pm
That’s great and all but a news source shouldn’t be so biased to the point where its not even viable. If that was the purpose glad to see where our “oh so great” Metea media is headed. Might as well partner with fox news if we are resorting to completely biased reporting.
Abhi C • Oct 30, 2015 at 7:35 am
The Republican candidates criticize Democrats because that’s how politics work! The Democrats are doing the same thing with their own bias. We criticize this article because this is a school website that is rudely criticizing candidates.
Johnny Radowski • Oct 29, 2015 at 12:06 pm
Stop bashing the republican party and do a better job of photoshopping the white edges in the picture.
Peter Bojangles • Oct 29, 2015 at 11:15 am
Yes, but if trump doesn’t polling then who will rally for him?
Robbie Dozier • Oct 29, 2015 at 11:03 am
I love how when it’s a Democratic debate it’s all “Tweet your opinions! Look! Freedom of speech!” and when it’s a GOP debate it’s all “Sushi and Steph scrutinize the debate and defend poor Hilary Clinton!”
Dena DelGiudice • Oct 29, 2015 at 10:45 am
This article was honestly pointless. It didn’t talk about any actual issues it was just bashing the republicans. Isn’t the school news suppose to inform people? Post your opinions on Twitter not on the school’s media page.
Denzel B • Oct 29, 2015 at 10:45 am
Know yourself Know your worth
Rodion Podlesny • Oct 29, 2015 at 10:19 am
Writing in a non satirical manner would have been much more informative
Nick Baker • Oct 29, 2015 at 10:14 am
Why was there no bashing during the Democratic debate? Typical liberal mindset at Metea Valley to only bash the Republicans.
André Wentzel • Oct 29, 2015 at 10:00 am
New title: liberals bash republicans while avoiding extremely flawed democratic candidates
Ryan Gaul • Oct 29, 2015 at 9:36 am
I believe that the idea to scrutinize the Republican debate is actually a good idea, but this is not the proper way to have had scrutinized the debate. To scrutinize is to examine or to inspect, and this is neither a proper examination nor inspection. One could have had examined or compared the policies that were brought up in the debate; instead there were simple observations that were unrelated to actual issues with the debate. I do understand that this is supposed to be entertainment, and this is in all actuality is not meant to be a serious piece. But, if Metea Media does want to be taken more seriously and be a credible news source, there should have been actual scrutinizing occurring, but also with some of the fun things like the Clinton count added in to engage readers while also keeping it a little lighthearted. Overall, I was not impressed by this work.
nurah lambert • Oct 29, 2015 at 9:35 am
slay. me. and. carson. and. paul. and. trump. yes. b.
Jordan Hawk • Oct 29, 2015 at 9:18 am
I thought the Metea media was supposed to be unbiased for our news. This is clearly bashing all the republicans from only your liberal views. If you have a problem with the republicans then don’t watch it. By the way, where’s the article bashing the democratic debate?
Vishal Prakash • Oct 29, 2015 at 9:21 pm
Yes, Metea Media is supposed to be unbiased. But it’s not. @emilijamorkunaite. Sush and Steph did this because they were making fun of the utter ridiculousness of last night’s Republican debate. If you think fantasy football is crucial to balancing the federal budget, controlling the influx of immigrants, or creating an economic policy to relieve America’s increasing debt problem, I’d like to see YOU write an article explaining that. If you find that Trump’s ability to “bigly” win Latino votes in Nevada is indicative of his true intentions then you are most definitely uneducated about the true nature of his candidacy. As for Metea Media, there is no way to ensure unbiased content without curbing the market for debate. The purpose of this website is to inspire intrascholastic debate, not intrascholastic hate.
Abhi C • Oct 30, 2015 at 7:28 am
You say that as if the candidates could choose not to talk about them. Anyone who actually watched the debate knows the moderators were asking non-issue related questions. This article feeds off the unfair and ridiculous questions that were asked.
Robbie Dozier • Oct 30, 2015 at 10:53 am
The Fantasy Football question was stupid, and CNBC should have never brought it up. Kasich (I think it was Kasich) make a couple of jokes and Christie immediately attacked CNBC for asking such a ridiculous question. If you think that anyone actually took that question seriously, what debate were you watching?
Joe Barrios • Nov 2, 2015 at 1:03 pm
You could either Cry more, or come out with an article bashing Demos.
Noah Marzuki • Oct 29, 2015 at 8:49 am
Sushi and Stephanie your comments are very liberal and biased towards the democrats. I don’t believe you should be reporting your opinion based off of your own political views.
Jordan Hawk • Oct 29, 2015 at 9:50 am
Wait shall we all write an article on the democrats debate and be biased against them?
Prashant (Online Writer) • Oct 29, 2015 at 2:13 pm
That’s something we’re planning to do, actually. We just missed the opportunity during the first debate.
Robbie Dozier • Nov 18, 2015 at 11:25 am
This is an opinion article. They can say whatever they want.
Nicole Munday • Oct 29, 2015 at 8:30 am
This made my eyes bleed. This isn’t a news article this is two girls leaving their bias opinion in a satirical manner about things they do not completely even try to understand. Please talk about the “real issues” that you so desperately wish you could have heard last night.
Jordan Hawk • Oct 29, 2015 at 9:49 am
Yes Nicole! I’m tired of everyone biased views with the news. This was a dumb segment and should be deleted off of the internet.
The_chillin_like_a_villin_hamster • Oct 29, 2015 at 7:59 am
Yaaaaa! This is amazing. U guys should talk about boat tax.
Zach Huebner • Oct 29, 2015 at 7:29 am
Good to see petty republican bashing extends to the high school media.